Voice Mail
by fearlessgoddess2
Summary: We all know that hunters always keep their cell phone on and available, but on those rare occasions that they miss a call their voicemail does get used.
1. Dean's Voice Mail

**Of course, we all know that Dean always keeps his cell phone on and available, but on those rare occasions that he misses a call, whether it's because he's out cold sleeping off a job, can't get to the phone in time, just doesn't want to talk to whoever's calling, or, you know, cooling his jets in Hell for four months, his voice mail does get used occasionally. Usually he doesn't give out his real number to strangers of course, but when it really matters (or when he's too drunk to realize the repercussions) he does occasionally.**

Dean's Voice Mail

_Hey, this is Dean Winchester. Leave a message. __**Beep.**_

Dude, I'm starving. I knew it was a bad idea to send you down to that bar/grill on your own, but come on, sprained ankle here. I'll look like an idiot trying to hobble my way down there. Not to mention it's a mile away and you took the car. (sigh) Yea. Okay. Hopefully I'll see you soon.

Mr. Nugent, my name is Victor. I'm calling on behalf of Busty Asian Beauties dot com. You failed to renew your subscription last month, so unfortunately we are forced to suspend your platinum membership. Simply call us back at 1-800-555-1245 to renew. Thank you.

Hey, Dean…. Um, it's Kathy. From last night? Listen…I think I left my, uh…bra in your car. Yea…. It's black lace and…okay, I doubt you have that many bras lying around your car…. Um, so if you could call me back, it was, ah (slight laugh) kind of expensive. 435-555-3534. Okay. Bye.

Dean, it's Bobby. I know you and Sam had a rough job last night, but I was hoping I could get in touch just to check up on you two. Actually, Sam told me that you decided you were Superman last night and were invulnerable to claws that were aimed at _him_. (sigh; murmurs _idgit) _Anyway, call me back so I know you're doing okay.

Dean…. Hey, it's Cassie. Ah…just wondering how you've been. Things here are good. I got a promotion at the paper. Um…so call me back. Just so, you know, so I know you're still breathing. Out there kicking monster ass. 'Kay. Bye.

Ah, hello. This is, ah, Brian Contor. I hope this number is right. I'm looking for Dean Winchester. A friend of a friend recommended me to you. He said I didn't need to leave any details on a message and if you know what I'm talking about, then, ah, you'll call me back. So we're over here in Kentucky. Number is 244-555-2948. Thanks.

You are such a friggin' jerk, Dean! I swear, you better come back with enough to pay me back. _With interest_. I didn't think I had to hide my wallet from my own damn brother. And really, how much did you need to go hustle some pool, huh? You seriously didn't have a hundred to start yourself off? What did you spend it on, exactly? (pause, sigh) You know what? I probably don't want to know. And you better not come back after getting your ass kicked, cause I'm not cleaning up the mess. (pause) Okay, well maybe I will, but I'll be extra generous in pouring disinfectant over the wounds. (pause) At least bring me back a beer or something.

Mr. Winchester, it's Brad Pollock over at the bookstore in Phoenix. Ah, the grimoire you requested arrived yesterday. I know you said you probably wouldn't be able to pick it up for a while, just the next time you drive on through, so I'll keep it in the back for you whenever you roll on through. Alrighty. Talk to you later.

Uh, hey, Dean, uh…. This is Ed Zeddmore calling on behalf of the Ghostfacers. Ah…we were just wondering if you weren't too busy with, you know, your ghost hunting if you could come help us out. (pause; muttering of _shut up, Harry, I know_) Not that we, you know, need any help. It's not out of our league. It's more, you know, in our league, just…more…under our league actually. So if you and Sam want to take it, cause we've got…a _lot_ of investigations on our plate right now, you know, big, big list, we'd probably be willing to hand over the reins. And, ah…no hard feelings about the Ghostfacers pilot. We completely understand that jealousy is a harsh emotion. It can just take you over, so, really it wasn't your fault. So, yea, if you could call us back, it's 842-555-3598. No hurry, though. (pause, muttering of _okay, all right)_ Okay, maybe there's a little hurry. (pause) Bye.

Dean, this is Maggie Zeddmore from the Ghostfacers. I doubt my idiot brother managed to gather up the balls to ask you and your brother for help, but we're in over our heads on this investigation. It's a haunting and there have been two recent deaths that led us here. It threw Harry down the stairs. He's okay though. Mostly a bruised ego. I found ectoplasm, but I guess Ed wasn't listening to you when you mentioned that stuff, cause he didn't believe me when I said it meant big trouble. Anyway, call me back if you can. 842-555-8844. Thanks.

Hey Dean! It's Ben! Mom told me it's your birthday today and gave me your number so I could wish you a happy birthday. So yea, dude, happy birthday. I asked mom how old you were, but she said she didn't know. Doesn't matter though. You're still the most awesome old person I know. She says you guys move around a lot, so it'd be hard to get a present to you, but if you ever stop by again I could get you something. Like a CD or something. (pause) Oh, but you have that cool old car, so…. Does it play CDs? Or you have an iPod jack or something? Okay, anyway, happy birthday man. Later.

Dean, it's Jo. Listen, I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I've got this job that's ah…a little above my pay grade. I know, ha ha. So if you're in the area, I'm in Nevada. If you don't have my number, it's 244-555-2488. Thanks.

Dude, I know you're out interviewing, but I just needed to tell you that I just saw a trailer on TV for Hell Hazers II: The Reckoning. (laughing) My God, it looks completely hilarious. I'm telling you, we have to see it. (laughing) It comes out in like two weeks. We'll see if we can find the time to catch it in theaters. Later.


	2. Sam's Voice Mail

**I actually read a fic a while back about how Sam saved up all these voicemails from Dean over his last year so he could listen to them when Dean was gone. It was a great fic, but I decided to make my version more entertaining than angsty. And I put in a message from Ash as well as one from Ruby, so we'll say the messages are spread over time.**

Sam's Voice Mail

_Hey, you've reached Sam Winchester. Please leave a message. __**Beep.**_

Dude…funny story…. (sigh) You know how I said to take the car back to the motel and I'll take a cab back cause you were being a buzzkill? Ya, well, we went back to Cindy's place…or…Mindy…or…I dunno. Anyway, I'm outside her place now cause her fiancé just got back early from vacation. Yea, yea, laugh it off jackass. I know it's like 1 AM but I need you to come pick me up. It's ah…224 Lakeview Road. And ah, dude, do me a favor and bring me a shirt. And, ah, some pants. And some underwear. And call me when you get here cause I'm hiding in the bushes. 'Kay. Bye.

…_calling Sam! I just got his voice mail!_ (laughing) Hey, Sam, it's Becky. Zach is being an ass and I wanted to call to tell you so you and your brother could beat him up for me—. (laughing) _You totally are!_ Anyway, we're out for New Years Eve, although technically it's New Year's Day now, and wondering how things are with you. You're probably working hard saving lives and being heroes on some job and barely even noticed the date, so Happy New Year. Oh by the way, Zach and I wanted to send you a Christmas present, but you didn't email me back and I've got no clue where to send it. I haven't actually bought it yet, I wanted to ask you if sending you guys silver bullets would make you guys laugh or if it actually was a good present or a little bit of both. So yea, call me back! Bye!

Sam, it's Ellen. Jo called me asking for your most recent number. I gave it to her, but asked why and she gave me some crap about checking up on you. I'm sure she's going to ask for help with a job and since talking to her about staying out of hunting is like talking to a brick wall, I was hoping you could at least help her out, especially if she's in over her head. I don't even know if she's got a partner on these hunts and, God Damnit, I worry about the girl. Anyway, thanks. Call me back.

It's Ruby. Don't know if my number'll be good tomorrow, but if it's not I'll let you know. I got a lead on the next seal. Problem is, FBI's all over the building because of a recent drug bust. Rumor has it Lilith is going to be sending in demons wearing FBI agents to do whatever it is she's doing. This might go down as soon as tomorrow, so call me back. And do me a favor and call me before you talk to your idiot brother. I'm at 244-555-3900.

(whispering, tearful voice) Sam, it's Kevin. M-My mom's acting weird. She's really scaring me. Y-You said to call if…anything happened. So if you could come over—. (pause) I think she's coming. I'm pretending to be asleep.

Sam. Hey, it's Jamie. I don't really know why I'm calling you…. Well, okay, I'm calling you cause I don't really know if anyone else would answer. I mean you didn't answer, but you'll call me back. I hope. I mean…. (sigh) Here's the thing. I kind of need a lawyer and you're the best person I could think of to call. I know you probably don't have bail money, but I'm kind of at a loss of what to do. If, ah, you know of any good lawyers in Palo Alto, I'm at Precinct 21. I'll get a lawyer appointed to me, but I thought maybe you could help. (pause) Alright. Thanks.

Yo, Sam, it's, uh, it's Ash. Thought I'd throw something your way. If you're not too busy with the whole yellow-eyes thing, anyway. Ah…got a case a buddy o' mine dropped me a line on cause it got thrown on him when a buddy o' _his_ couldn't do it. _My buddy _can't do it cause o' this thing with his sister who's out in Alaska or somewhere doing some expedition. At least she was, then she got stranded and got frostbite and lost her right leg or right arm or…right something. _Anyway_, I kinda forgot what the case was about, it's in my car, but it's something to do with people…acting like animals or…possessed by dogs or some crap like that. So give me a buzz if you're up for it. Later.

Dude, I lost eyes on you. You're not pickin' up, this is the third time I called, so I'm gonna go and assume you can't. I'm headed to the car; I'll track your cell. Hopefully you still got it. If not, I'll try the house we found. If you're not there, I'll start to freak out. If you get this, call me back, bitch.

_**You have no new messages. You have one saved message. To listen to your messages, press 1.**_

Hey, honey, it's me. Calling to see how that test went today. You're probably at the library, or maybe by some miracle you made it back to the apartment and you're getting some well-deserved, overdue sleep. Since it's Friday I was thinking we could do pizza and a movie. I've got birthday money left over so I can spring for it; don't worry. Plus, Shawshank Redemption is on TNT tonight, so we could watch that. So I'll be in class until 4:00. Call me back after that, or I'll see you at home. Love you. Bye.


	3. Bobby's Voice Mail

**Since we don't know much about Bobby's friends, I'm going to take the liberty of giving him some friends. I know, I'm so nice. Of course we'll have a few messages from the boys too, etcetera, but there's only so many times they can call without it being stalkerish, right?**

Bobby's Voice Mail

_Hey, this is Bobby Singer. If I'm not pickin' up, I'm probably under a car, under a hood, or under fire. Leave a message and I'll call you back. __**Beep.**_

(pause) This is, ah…. My name's John Winchester. Missouri Moseley gave me this number, told me to call Bobby Singer. I was hoping to speak with you about…. Something…happened to my wife…five days ago. She's gone. And I want to know how and why…and how I can kill whatever did it. I spoke with Missouri; she came into the house and told me it was…_real_ evil that killed my wife. Now I don't know what that means, if there's fake evil or something, but she…. We talked for a couple hours yesterday and…I'd say I learned a Hell of a lot. I want to learn more and she said you were the man to go to. I'm a former Marine, so I'm stubborn as all Hell. Missouri said you're the best, so if you don't call me back, if you think I'm not worth talking to, I'll keep calling 'til you do. My number's 738-555-2234. And, uh…. (pause) Thanks.

(_Just a minute, Sammy_) Hi, this is Dean Winchester. I need to talk to you about—. (_Sammy, go watch TV, okay…? Yea, sure, whatever you want._) (pause) My dad left on a job eight days ago and said he'd be back in a week at most. I can't reach him and he hasn't called to check on us since two days ago. We, um…. We're both going to school, don't worry, but I'm down to the last few cans of Spaghetti O's and some Lucky Charms. So if maybe, I don't know, you could send us some money just 'til my dad gets back? I'm sure he'll pay you back. (pause) And if…if you could try to call him and see where he is, that'd be great. The number on the phone dad left me is 233-982-9923. Thanks.

Bobby, hey, it's Dean. Ah…Sam left…like an hour ago. (tight laugh) Sam left for college an hour ago. (sigh) I know, a bit early, right? He and dad had one final pissing contest and Sam decided that he could win by leaving. (pause) I just…. If you could call him? You know, just to make sure he's okay? I…. He isn't coming back. (pause) I know it and I think dad knows it too. But…I don't know how much money he's got. I don't know how financial aid works for school, if he'll be okay for a month until he heads to his dorm, but, ah…if you could call him…maybe loan him some money…I'd really appreciate it. I'll pay it back. I'm just a little low right now. Plus I doubt Sam wants to talk to me. Now that I think about it, he might already have called you. (pause) I'm worried about him, Bobby. I, ah…I know I taught him good and he can take care of himself but…Hell, I'm worried. So…call me when you get this. Thanks.

_**Post Pilot:**_

Bobby, it's Dean. Ah…we were hoping to get your advice on a job we're working on. Honestly…we're totally lost. I mean like illegal immigrant in New York City lost. It started off as a haunting, but…. It's just totally crazy. So call me back. Thanks.

Hey Bobby, it's Sam. I'm calling about the _Libri Tres de Occulta Philosophia_ that I just got from Joshua. There's a translation for one invocation that doesn't seem accurate. The syntax is off. I tried translating it with the help of a 14th century Latin grammar and tried applying Hebrew, Greek, and Chaldean background, but I'm having difficulty being confident in what I've come up with. (pause; _Dude, shut up!_) (sigh) Yea, so if you could give me a call back, I'd really appreciate it.

It's Chase. I've officially heard scuttlebutt from two separate hunters about you bein' involved in that disaster with the Devil's Gate in Wyoming, so I was hopin' I could get a firsthand account. I doubt what I'm hearin' is true, so I'd like to talk to you.

Hey Bobby, it's Derek. I got your message and, yea, I'll be here at the shop next Saturday and Sunday if you want to stop by for the book on your way to Louisiana. Don't worry about the money; I got a good price on it, so an even hundred'll do. Later.

Yo, Bobby, it's Shawn. Ah, got somethin' on your girl Bella. Dunno what you want with that bitch, she's nothin' but trouble, but if you're still lookin' to be a glutton for punishment, give me a call.

Bobby, it's Pamela. I was with a client today and, interestingly enough, I got a message for _you _during our session. You should really tell those friends of yours that being dead is not an excuse for them to interrupt the grandmother of paying customers. Anyway, call me back soon. It was vague, something you'll probably understand, but I don't know how important it is. Talk to you later.

Hey, it's Evan. I got a car for ya. Second generation Mustang, 1975. 302 CID V8. Only catch is, saying I got it for a steal is an understatement and the reason for that, I managed to pry out of the woman selling it, was ever since her Pops passed she can't control the radio anymore. It always switches back to 98.5. That, she was okay with. The thing she had a problem with was the volume at which it happened. Seems not only did this guy die, he went deaf too. Since nobody could fix it and everyone noticed it when you started the car, it's kinda hard not to, she chopped down the price. Anywho, if you think you can cleanse it or something or you're interested despite the baggage, give me a call.


End file.
